We All Fall Down
by duvessa ravenstone
Summary: Tainted minds, and Twisted dreams. . .Is the captain really gone. . . Chapter 2 up! Disclaimer: These are not mine! Joss owns them, I only play with them!
1. Disclaimer

**We All Fall Down**

**Disclaimer: **These characters do not belong to me. Nor am I making any profit from this. These belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I just play with them occasionally.


	2. Ring Around the Rosie

**We All Fall Down: Prologue**

Here he was, back in Serenity Valley, mist gathering all around, only this time. . .this time it was his crew lying dead on the ground. He could deal with the old nightmares, but this. . ._Wo de tien ah._ He could still smell the acrid smoke, and dust from battle. The sky still lit up as the Alliance pounded his comrades to hell. He heard the screams, screams of his crew, calling for help. Calling for _him. _The sky was darkening, turning the color of blood, rain fell, and it fell red on his hands. He tried to get it off, but the stain only grew. He saw a figure walking towards him, hooded and cloaked, and the scent of death rolled off him in sickening waves. A whisper, **_You will fail them. . .you know what you have to do. _**

Then he heard singing, a slow melancholy tune, and he slowly made his way towards it. He came upon his little albatross, in some sort of chair, needles and all manner of horrible things sticking out of her skin. She had cuts all over, and blood ran freely. He ran to her, trying to release her from her bonds, but nothing worked. . . The melody again, but this time it was River singing, eyes staring into space. . . **_"Ring around a rosie, a pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down." _**He tried, again and again, to free her from her bonds, but eventually he fell to the ground sobbing; apologizing for the pain he couldn't save her from. He felt a soft touch, looked up, and saw her standing; a knife in her hand. She kneeled, smoothing his hair back, whispering, **_ "They'll come for me. You can't stop them. You know what you have to do. . ." _**He felt her place the knife in his hands. Then she slowly disappeared into the mists, singing that haunting tune.

_**"Ring around a rosie, a pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down."**_


	3. Whispers

**We All Fall Down **

**Chapter 1**

Mal slowly became aware of his surroundings, but the dream was still persisting into consiousness. The song again. **_ "_****_Ring around a rosie, a pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down." _**At that, he shot up, but immediatley felt someone's hands pressing him back down. He tried to fight back, as a voice cut through the fog in his mind. "Captain, calm down! You need to rest!" Simon's voice. Simon. Doctor. Yeah, that's right. . .I think. He relaxed, and opened his eyes; squinting against the infirmary's bright lights. "That's better." He heard Simon say, letting him go.

The fogginess didn't go away. "Why do I feel all. . ." " You're heavily medicated. You were sick and delirious." Simon cut in, giving him a smoother for any other pain. His mouth felt dry, "How long?" Simon seemed unsure of whether or not to answer the question. Mal was going to ask again, when Sheperd came in saying, "A month." Like it was something normal. "Oh, a month. That's fine." He threw his hands in the air, wincing as a sharp sting reminded him of the needle in his arm. "That's ruttin shiny!" Simon pulled his arm back down, having to re-adjust the needle. "Why in a liou coe shuai du biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh ur-tze, was I outta commision for a whole rutting month!" Sheperd glared daggers, "Ni bu gan kai ni de hwang chiang." He said stonily. Simon stepped suddenly, "That's enough! Now ee-chi shung-hoo-shi." The two of them stopped. "Xei-xei." Mal rolled his eyes, this was getting ridiculous. "If you'll be patient, captain. I'll explain everything." Simon took a deep breath and began, "It started when you contracted a rare type of brain fever. . ."

_**A few hours later**_

The doctor had just finished explaining why Mal wasn't 'here' the past month. The others had come down, at Sheperd's bidding, and were all looking at him expectantly. Mal took a deep breath to steady himself. . ."Huh." Inara rolled her eyes. "That's Mal allright." He glared at her, "And what's that supposed to mean?" He asked, getting defensive. Simon gave an exasperated sigh, "Bì zuî!" Everyone stared. "Everyone out of my infirmary, NOW!" The others, still shocked, began to file out. "What is it with all of you and you're uncanny abilities to upset my patients?" He asked closing the door in their faces. He shook his head, walking back over to Mal. "You're worse than a pack of wild dogs." Mal laughed, as Simon prepared another shot. "Come on, doc. Do I really need another?" whined Mal. "Hopefully, not for too much longer, Captain Reynolds." Simon injected the serum into the I.V. "Just something to help you sleep."

The medicine was starting to kick in, when the door opened, and River stepped in. She had felt the captain's unease as he slept. She had seen the nightmares. Simon looked up from his work, "Mei-mei, what are you doing up? It's already late." She was looking at Mal, but answered, "Not late. Not anything. No concept of time in space. It's irrelavent." Simon smiled, "Do you always have to correct me?" He smiled, as she gave him a rare grin, that reminded him of their lives before all this. "Do you always have to need correcting?" He rolled his eyes, and went back to work. She studied the captain cautiously. His eyes were half closed, and he jerked every now and again with the dream. She bit her nails, "Not better. . ." she whispered. "Still inside." That's when Mal started screaming. . .

Simon sprang into action, when Mal screamed, and started convulsing. River had dropped to the floor in tears, sobbing hysterically. Simon had somehow managed to get to the comm, and yelled, "Jayne, get down here now!" He ran back towards the bed, attempting to hold him down, praying, _I hope he gets here soon. . ._ Less than a minute later, Jayne came rushing in, Vera in tow. "What's the trouble, Doc?" Simon yelled, "Put that blasted gun down and help me hold him!" Jayne all but dropped it when he saw what was going on. He rushed over to the bed, and forced Mal back down. He was still screaming, when Jayne had an idea, "What bout them there straps? The ones you used on that crazy reaver wannabe?" Simon nodded, and pulled the straps around Mal as fast as possible. Once they were tightened, Jayne stepped back. "What's ruttin wrong with him? I thought he was better now!" Simon shook his head, doping him. "I have no idea. He was fine earlier."

River, who was still sobbing, whimpered, "Whispers in the night." Simon and Jayne looked at River apprehensively. "Whispers in his head. Whispers of the forgotten. Whispers of the dead. . ."


	4. Letting Go

**We All Fall Down**

**Chapter 2**

The captain was resting now, no signs of the morning's outburst visible on him. Well, besides the straps still holding him down. Simon didn't want to risk another outburst, with noone around to help keep Mal from hurting himself. River had been so hysterical, he had to sedate her as well. It broke his heart to see her hurting so, but he didn't know what made her do it. And the bit she had said about Mal. . . it strained the mind a bit. Jayne checked in every hour or so, to see if anything had happened, or if Simon needed any help; luckily he hadn't. It was wierd though, Jayne was being uncharacteristically sympathetic about this whole situation. That strains the mind a bit too, but he wasn't going to waste time wondering about untrained apes. He needed to figure out what was wrong with the captain.

Zoe came by about 30 minutes later. "How is he?" she asked, worry etched on her face. Simon looked up from the cortex entry he was reading, "Oh, well." He looked over at the captain who was still out. "He's resting, but I have no clue what caused that outburst." Simon rubbed his eyes, trying to think of something, but nothing came. Zoe nodded, "You know, I'm not a doctor." she said, laying a comforting hand on Simon's shoulder. "But doctors aren't much help, if they can't think right. You should get some sleep." He smiled, but shook his head. "I can't I have to. . ." Zoe cut him off, "That wasn't a suggestion." she said, her face getting stony. "We can keep eyes on him. Shifts, four hours each." She smiled reassuringly, "If anything happens, anything at all. We'll get you up, double-quick." Simon conceded, realizing he really didn't stand a chance against the warrior woman, and put his hands up in surrender, saying," Allright. I'll go try and sleep." He went to walk out, "Anything happens. . ." Zoe cut him off again, "March."

Zoe was pacing the room, trying to keep awake. She had told Simon that they would take shifts. . .well, she lied. She could last till the Doc got some decent sleep. Wash came over the intercom, "Zoe, baby. Need anything?" Zoe smiled. He always knew. She was about to answer when he said, "Let me guess. . . Coffee for my goddess." She picked up the mic, "That sounds wonderful husband. You're a lifesaver." You could hear his smile through his words, " I aim to please. I'll be right down, just gotta put ol' girl on auto." "Not in a hurry." said Zoe, turning off the mic.

Wash had come in with the coffee, a little less than an hour ago. They had talked, mostly of how the capn weren't going nowheres, and she should come to bed. _ Hmmm, _she thought smiling. _No ulterior motive there. . ._ A voice cut into her thoughts. "You should go with him. You should leave." She jumped, many people weren't like to sneak up on her, but then again Mal hadn't been awake a minute ago. She moved over to his side. "And leave you to your own devices, sir?" She laughed. "Not a chance in the 'verse." He didn't smile, he looked like a man who was walking on the edge of reason, and at the slightest noise would go over it. Fall into the nothingness of his mind. It scared her, she'd never seen him like this before. He'd been close, but far enough away to where she knew he would come round.

Mal needed to be far away, away from the ones he could hurt. Far away from them all, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, we all die alone in the end. With noone left to care. Just echoes, dust, and shadows. None of it matters in the end. He knows what he has to do. To keep them safe, and happy. In their own little world. He needs to leave, he's got to let himself go. "Got to let go. . ." He said, trying to undo the straps that held him from his plans. "Ruttin doctor's got this whole mess over me for what?" Mal yelled, to anyone and noone. "You gotta let me loose. Gotta keep them away."

Zoe tried to calm him._I can handle him if he gets upset_. She thought to herself. "Ain't gonna be able to stop them all." He rambled on, "You gotta let me go. . .gotta let me go." He strained hard once more on the straps, and then relaxed falling into a somewhat relaxed state. Zoe decided to undo the straps. Mal gave a laugh, as he got up from the bed, one you woulda thought came from River, then sang in a whisper, "Ring around the rosie. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. . .Ashes. . . WE." Mal banged his fists on the table."ALL." Again. "FALL.", and again. "DOWN!" Then he collasped into fits of giggles with nothing discernable coming from them. Zoe decided that now would be a good time to fetch Simon. Zoe tried the comm, but it wasn't working. Mal giggled as she struggled with it asking, "Looking for this?" He held up a wad of wires in his hands. "I think it's broke." laughed Mal, dropping the wires from the mic into Zoe's hand. "How did you do this? I was watching you?" He gave a pleased smile. "I'm a sneaky one, aren't I?"

Zoe was really beginning to worry now. This wasn't the captain, it couldn't be. Something was seriously wrong, so she decided to get Simon. "Just stay here, sir." said Zoe, pointing toward the bed. "I'll be right back. I just have to get Simon." Mal smiled, and sat down dutifully. "I'm here. Not going anywhere." She left, locking the infirmary doors, and heading towards Simon's bunk. She passed Jayne, and told him, "Go to the infirmary, watch the captain, but keep the doors locked." At Jayne's quizzical look she ordered, "Do it. Don't ask questions." He went without another word.


	5. Buried Underneath It All

**We All Fall Down**

**Chapter 3**

Mal smiled as he felt the wieght of the gun in his hand. He was sitting in the cargo bay on one of the boxes, waiting for the others. He was sure that Zoe had found Jayne knocked out on the deck outside the infirmary. It would only be a few minutes now. . .

Zoe had checked the rest of the ship with Wash and Simon, when they decided on the cargo bay being thier next stop. They were catiously walking towards the entrance when a strange noise came to her ears. . ._ Spin. Click. Spin. Click. Spin. Click._ Wash looked towards Zoe, and asked, "What in the world is that?" She shook her head, "I don't know." Problem was, she really thought she did. . . _Spin. Click. Spin. Click. Spin. Click. _Zoe stopped as she heard Mal give that creepy giggle again. She was going to try to go in another way, but she stopped when the captain said, "I know you're there, Zoe." _Spin. Click. Spin. Click. Spin. Click. _"Why dont' you come in and play?" He laughed tossing the gun up and down in his hands. "Come on and play. The ol' Russian Roullete!" He yelled spinning the gun's chamber, putting it to his temple then. . .Click. Mal laughed, One day it will land on a bullet, and that's the one for me. . ." He giggled and spinned again, "Zoe, sit play. .." Implored Mal. "An easy way to make it go away. You know I have to go away. . ." Zoe stepped closer to Mal, but didn't change her stance. "Sir, you're sick." started Zoe, stepping closer. "We only want to help you." Mal laughed, "That's funny, cause I'm tryin to help you all." _Spin. _Zoe asked, "How exactly are you trying to help us? By killing yourself?" He morosely, spun the chamber, "That's the plan. . ."

Zoe was floored. He really did mean to end it, but why? None of this was making sense. She needed to find a way to get through to him, and fast. She tried to motion for Simon to sneak around, but Mal pointed the gun in his direction; firing a round two inches from his head. "You don't want to do that, Simon." Everyone froze. Mal lowered the gun away from Simon, frowning, "That was my bullet." He said, but I've got plenty others I can play. . ." Suddenly, he felt a prick in his neck, and dropped to his knees. "Sorry, captain. Not today." Was the last thing he heard before the darkness took him.

_**Later **_

The crew was sitting quietly outside the infirmary, awaiting the doctor's prognosis. After awhile Simon came out, shaking his head. Inara was the first to speak, "Is he allright?" She questioned Simon. He shrugged, " I honestly don't know. . ." Simon rubbed his forehead. "I thought he was fine before." Jayne, who had since recovered from being knocked out, snorted, "Yeah, he's just our normal, everyday, raving lunatic of a captain!" They all glared, and he snapped his mouth shut. "What in the hell happened back there?" snapped Zoe. Simon sighed, "I told you, I don't. . ." "That's not good enough!" He stepped back, "I can run a few more tests." Zoe gave him a hard look, saying, " You do that, doctor." He walked back into the infirmary, leaving the others to discuss the situation.

_**Ring around a rosie, a pocket full of posies. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.**_

"Nooo!" screamed Mal, as he fell back into the nightmare. "Not again, I can't. . . please stop!" He stumbled through the ever worsening quagmire, that continually haunted him. His crew was still there with him, but this time they were dying right where he could see, clawing at his clothes, and begging for his help. Every time one of them touched him, their hands left bloody trails. Theirs screams grew louder and louder, till he thought he would go mad from the sheer volume of it, and then. . .quiet. Mal looked round and everyone was gone, leaving no signs of what had tortured him only moments earlier. He heard a whisper, faint and indiscernable. He looked again, but nothing. _What? _he wondered to himself. **_"Can't find the reasons. . .can't fight the darkness. It's coming for us all, can't you hear the whispers? Can't you feel our pain?" Help us why won't you help us? How can you just leave us here to die, Mal?" _**He spun again, and upon finding nothing he ran, ran from everything and nothing. He fell, but he still crawled as well as he could. Suddenly, a hand reached out to him, while he still lay on the ground. "Need a hand, sir?" He saw Zoe's arm reach down towards him. "Zoe? That you?" A mirthless chuckle, "Who else would it be?" Mal laughed, "You've got no idea? And you've been hangin round my horrible nightmares . . ." He grabbed her hand, and she hauled him to his feet. He steadied himself on her shoulder, leaning over to look in her face. "Aaaahhhh! My gosh what the hell happened to your face?" Mal fell back, trying to pull away from her grip. "Oh, you mean this?" She asked, showing her full face, revealing all manner of monstrous cuts and lacerations. He tried to turn away, but her hand caught his face, and held it in a vice. "What's wrong, sir. Did I mess up my make-up?" Mal forced himself out of her grip, and flung hisself to the ground, crawling away still. "Oooh, gosh, oh gosh." he mumbled, trying to escape this grotesque scene. "Sir? Where ya going off to?" She gave a crazed laugh. "Can't run forever, sir. It always catches up in the end."

Mal forced himself to crawl to his feet and run. He ran, ran, and ran; till nothing human or otherwise could get to him. He ran till. . ."Gotta go. . .gotta keep go. . ." Mal collasped in the dirt, sobbing and gasping for breath. Trying to rid his mind of the horrible monsters that were punishing him for things that they could only see. He was lying on his back, scrambling to piece together the fragments of his mind, when an arm shot up through the earth and held him fast. Mal struggled, but more were rising**. _He wants to leave us, he wants to go. Wants to be free. He can't ever be free. He belongs to us now. you are nothing anymore! _**"NO!" He screamed, trying to fight them off, as they pulled him deeper into the dirt. "No! Somebody!" he cried, hoping someone would hear. A light laugh, and the wisp of rotted perfume, "Shhhh, Malcolm." he heard a voice say right beside him. He looked over, and there was Inara. Or it woulda been Inara if it wasn't all gross and corspsified! Mal screamed bloody murder, as he tried to pull away from her touch. "What's wrong, Mal?" He still struggled, even though he'd been pulled about half way under. "You've always wanted me. Now you can have me forever. . ." She smiled, as the dirt started to tumble over Mal's head, and he tried not to swallow it. She smoothed his hair back, cleaning the dirt off his face, saying, "One last kiss for the road." She kissed him, then shoved him down into the earth screaming. . .

**"NOOOOO!" **

Mal opened his eyes, "Where is she? Oh, gosh. Where did she go?" Simon and Zoe rushed to his side at an instant, "Captain. Nothing's wrong." started Zoe, grabbing his hand, and squeezing it for support. Simon grabbed a sedative, fed it through to the iv, and stepped back. "It should only take a few moments." he said to Zoe, indicating it was done. "She's Here!" screamed Mal, fighting wildly at the restraints. "Oh, gosh. Zoe, please make her go away! Make her stop. . ." He broke down into a whimper, as the meds kicked in. "Zoe. . ." She squeezed his hand reassuringly. "Right here, sir."

And everything faded to black. "Wu de ma." said Zoe, stepping back. "It's getting worse." River who had sat quietly throughout the whole discussion, said, "He can't save us all. He can't fight all the enemies. He's all alone in the dark, won't let anyone in. . ." "What do you mean, sweetie?" asked Inara and Kaylee. "None of you can help him, he doesn't know that he's lost."

Upon hearing what River had said, Zoe walked over to her,and asked, "What did you just say?" She looked up, "None of you can help him, he doesn't know that he's lost." Zoe sat down beside her, and then asked her gently. "What do you know about this?" River scooted away, not wanting to awnswer the question. "No, no, not getting better, . . . I don't know how. Don't know how to help him. He doesn't want to be helped. " Zoe had to find a way to get through to her, "Mal might die. Do you understand that?" River nodded, "She understands." Then she giggled, "No one see the darkness, the wars that lie within. The terrible truths that are right in front of your eyes!" She screamed at them, running towards the infirmary, and Malcolm. Zoe raced after her, but was too late. River had shoved Simon out of the room, and secured the infirmary's doors. Leaving the crew to only watch, and hope that nothing horrible happens.

Simon was banging on the doors, trying to force them open. "Won't work." River stated. "You're not invited, you can't come in." "River, open the doors!" yelled Simon, banging the doors, once more. "Not invited, can't come to our party. No teatime for you." Mal opened his eyes, "What's going on?" River ran to his side, "Shhh." she cooed, smoothing back his hair. "You're fine. You're with me." Mal smiled, "You're okay." She smiled, and nodded. "I can help you, but you have to trust me. Trust me with your life." "Of course, little albatross." She smiled, "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. " Mal smiled too, "I won't move a bit." River was now searching through all the medical supplies, throwing the useless ones to the floor.

"What are you doing now?" cried Kaylee, as River trashed the infirmary. "Getting medicine, something to make us feel better." said River, loud enough for everyone to hear. "Oh gosh, _mei mei_. Don't touch any of those!" cried Simon over a com. He and Zoe were still trying to find a way in. River didn't listen, and instead went over to Malcolm and undid the straps. He got up and started to help her with the meds. "You know how to give shots?" asked Mal. River giggled, "It's easy enough, but we still have the pills. We'll get there, I promise." She smiled, carressing Mal's cheek. "We'll fix you. . .everything will be better when we're through. " At that she gave Mal a needle, and took one for herself. "Oh my gosh." gasped Kaylee. "Zoe, Simon you gotta hurry. Somethin bad's gonna happen." Mal went first, gave himself the shot, and dropped the needle; convulsing. River followed suit, and lay still next to Mal. "No!" screamed Kayleee, running over to the windows, pounding on them, hoping for a response, but nothing came. Zoe and Simon ran to the infirmary, and dropped to the floor next to Kaylee. Zoe looked at her, "Report?" Kaylee had tears streaming down her face, "They're not movin." Simon sat, "No, no. Mei mei, please no." He broke down, "She can't be. . ." Mal's back arched, and he screamed, flailing about wildly. River did as well, and cried out, "You have to fight them! Mal, fight them!" Then they both lie there motionless. Leaving the others shocked and wondering what would happen next.


End file.
